Sick Week Wonderings

So, why is it that when you need something the most, you're unable to get it?  I've been sick for three days now.  I know that, more than anything, getting some extra sleep and eating something will help me get better soon.  With that knowledge in hand, I've tried.

Wednesday:  I was home sick, dozed/slept for most of the day (~10-5), but barely managed to eat a small amount of yogurt in the morning, and couldn't even finish a carrot for supper.  Then I woke up around 1:30 in the morning and tossed, turned and dozed while having weird and frustrating fever dreams until nearly 5:00.  If Amanda hadn't gotten up to get me some Tylenol and milk, I'm not sure what would've happened.  But thanks to her, I finally *slept*.

Thursday:  I was home sick again, but was joined by Amanda this time.  I managed some yogurt in the afternoon and ended up just cooking Kraft Dinner and hot dogs for us because it seemed like something both easy to make and easy to eat.  Then I went to bed, where I tossed and turned for a really long time before giving up and taking some melatonin.  (It normally works pretty well for me on sleepless nights, but it tends to give me vivid dreams, and after the weird dreams I had the previous night, I really wasn't eager to take it).  I finally fell asleep, but woke up nearly two hours before our alarms were set to go off, and couldn't fall back asleep.

Tonight:  it's after midnight, I've been up since ~5:00, and I know I need some sleep, but I'm pretty much wide awake.

So, let me reiterate my original question:  why is it that when you need something the most, you're unable to get it?

Irony and Illness

I was sick all week. From Monday night when I had a sore throat to yesterday after work when my stomach was churning away, I was sick. I tried to get extra sleep and take it easy, but the bug stuck with me.

Last night I had lots of trouble sleeping. I finally dozed off (on the couch) after 5am, and was woken up when Amanda came out to the living room around 8. I was really tired, and somewhat cranky, for a large chunk of the day, but guess what?

I'm feeling better. I'm not back to 100% yet, but I feel the best I have in a week. I can't believe it happened after a night like last night, but somehow it happened, and I'm very happy about it. With that, I'm off to bed, hopefully for a full night of sleep this time around.

Still Sick

I'm still sick. I'm very grateful Amanda hasn't caught what I have. I've been feeling fine in the morning, and start feeling lousy again in the afternoon. Blehhhhhhhhh.

Sick Again

I hate being sick. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!

It's not just the illness itself -- I can handle a few days of feeling lousy. It's everything around being sick that bugs me. I don't like that I may be getting others sick, and everything related to work and being sick makes life much harder.

If I call in sick, I make my voice sound worse until it matches how badly I feel -- not to mislead anyone, but to try to convey how I'm feeling by sound alone.

I dislike having to go to my boss after I've been at work an hour to say I'm feeling lousy. I feel stupid, and worry that my boss will wonder if I'm too dumb to just stay home.

Here's the thing. I hate being sick so much, yet I have sick days at my job, and even if I didn't, Amanda and I would be able to manage well enough financially. In other words, I have two safety nets, and even with them, I still hate being sick.

Still Sick...

Amanda and I both stayed home sick again today.

Our secret way of getting through it today?  Animal crackers.  I went to the grocery store because we needed a few things and because I wanted to let my car run for a bit.  When I asked Amanda if we needed anything beyond a few staples of sickness-comfort (juice, etc.), she suggested animal crackers.

I bought some, and even though the animals were unrecognizeable, the crackers were delicious.  They really helped while we were sitting on the couch this afternoon.

Anyway, I'm really hoping we're both healthy tomorrow.  ...I'm sick of being sick.

Illness for both of us

Amanda and I are both sick today.  She called in sick, and I came home after less than an hour.  We spent the rest of the morning sleeping in bed, then the entire afternoon and evening sitting/laying on the couch.

I managed enough energy to make a pot of my chicken noodle soup, and now we're in bed over an hour early.  It was weird having a day with both of us sick.  Neither of us is a stranger to illness.  Early this year, I missed most of a week of work with a nasty flu, and Amanda has missed a few days of work this fall/winter.  But we've never been sick at the same time.

On one hand, it was good.  We were both out of energy and not feeling great, but we got to spend the day together on the couch.  When we were feeling up to it, we even caught up on some shows that were recorded on our DVR.

The rest was bad though.  When you're sick, it's nice to have someone to make some juice, or grab a tylenol, or put a blanket on you.  With both of us sick, those moments were in short supply.  It was more like when I was sick while living alone in Tumbler Ridge and having to take care of things myself, except that it was two of us doing it side-by-side.

That's not to say we abandoned each other to our own miseries.  We tried to help each other along.  If one of us had to get up for something, we *did* spare the other person the trip.  Amanda managed to make something for lunch, while I managed supper.  Because of that, at least we're well fed and won't be getting sicker from eating poorly.

It was just hard.  It's hard to see Amanda fighting to get up to grab herself some juice when she's clearly exhausted while I'm unable/unwilling to do it for her because I'm feeling pretty lousy too.

I'm hoping beyond hope that we're both healthy tomorrow.  Barring that, I'd settle for at least one of us being healthy.  Both of us being sick is for the birds.

Tuesday Night Fever

Amanda has been sick the last few days.  I'm still healthy so far, but I just woke up from nodding off to sleep against her shoulder while sitting on the couch about a half hour ago.

...I hate it when I'm sick.  I really dislike being stuck in bed or on the couch all day.  I don't enjoy sleeping for 20 hours in a day, or having a sore throat, or feeling nauseous.  That's why I feel so bad when someone else is sick.  Amanda's been sick for three days now, and I know that if I'd been sick the past three days, I'd be sick and tired of being sick, tired of the apartment and not getting outside of it, and desperate to feel better.

So, I hope she's feeling close to 100% tomorrow, and I hope I don't catch what she's got.

Get better soon Amanda!  <3

Cough Drops

I dropped in, and Amanda is coughing.

I know she's been sick all week, and I've been wishing I could be here with her.  Amanda is feeling a fair bit better, but at the moment I'm still planning on making a pot of chicken soup for supper tomorrow night.  My patented chicken noodle soup recipe consists of water, chicken boullion, boneless chicken breasts, egg noodles, carrots, an onion, celery, and sage.

The last time I made it, it was here in Grande Prairie, and it turned out so good that I felt compelled to make chicken stew for myself in Tumbler Ridge the next day.  Unfortunately, the chicken stew didn't turn out nearly as good.  Maybe it was the exact mix of spices, or maybe it was the lack of good company while eating it.

Anyway, Amanda and I are re-watching the penultimate episode of this season of Mad Men in preparation for the season finale tomorrow night, and maybe, just maybe, I'll make some real progress on my scarf in the process.

Uncertainty

...I'm not sure what's going to happen this weekend.  I've got to work Saturday, and it sounds as if Amanda may have to as well.  The original plan was for her to come to Tumbler Ridge this weekend, but it's really not worth it for her to drive out here on Saturday after work, just to return home less than 24 hours later.


I could drive out to Grande Prairie after work on Saturday, but Amanda has been sick this week.  I'd really like to see her, but if she's still feeling rough, I don't want her worrying about cleaning her place up for me to visit (to which she'd probably joke "I don't worry about that anyway!")


The other option, sadly, is to have a visit-free week.  I tend to be at a bit of a loss on those weekends though.  It's like I don't quite remember how I used to occupy all my time on my weekends in Tumbler Ridge without Amanda here.  I could certainly spend some time with my hobbies, or go for a long hike or two, but I know come Sunday morning when I wake up alone, I'll be thinking "What am I going to do today?"

Contrasts...

Amanda's recent (and sadly, ongoing) illness and my trouble sleeping last night (woke up at 3am, couldn't return to sleep until after 6) got me thinking.  There is a major gap between how the world works and how the world should work.


Let's look at sick days for example:


How the world works:
You call in sick, deal with a potentially unhappy supervisor, and lay at home feeling bad, and feeling worse when your next paycheque is short as a result.  The other option, frowned upon by most employers, is working through your illness so your paycheque isn't affected, though the health of your co-workers and customers is.


How the world *should* work:
When you call in sick, your supervisor encourages you to stay home and get better soon, and reminds you that you'll still be paid.  If you're sick on your days off, you receive normal working days off to compensate for it.

Or what about sleeping problems?  What if on a particular night you didn't get nearly enough sleep through no fault of your own?

How the world works:
You go to work exhausted and struggle to stay awake by consuming generous portions of caffeinated drinks.  Your work suffers, frustrating your co-workers, customers, and supervisor.


How the world *should* work:
You arrive at work and your employer notices the bags under your eyes and sends you to the back office couch for a two hour nap.  Instead of producing eight hours of poorly done work that may have to be redone, you produce six hours of your normal quality work with a much better attitude to boot!

I know these ideas would lend themselves to widespread abuse.  I also know that employers, particularly small ones, can't afford to pay their employees to be sick or sleep on the job.  But in my pie-in-the-sky world as it "should" be, they make a lot of sense!  :-)

Loud Sigh

If you heard a loud sigh a half hour ago, it was probably me.  Amanda's not feeling too well, and I told her the exact same thing she told me when I was sick a while back.  I told her that unless she's feeling absolutely 100% perfect, that we should cancel our plans for her visiting Tumbler Ridge this weekend.


I'd much rather she was at home in bed recovering rather than driving three hours in each direction to see me.


Some of you reading this might ask "Why don't you drive out to Grande Prairie then, Jake?"


There are a few reasons.  First, I work Saturday this week.  I have gone out on my short weekends before, but by the time I drive out after work, we basically only have Sunday together.  It's still worth it to see Amanda (I *did* drive eight hours for our first date due to a washed out bridge, after all!), but the impetus to go isn't quite as strong.


Second, I don't really think Amanda wants to infect me with whatever's ailing her.  I'd like to be there to cheer her up, stock her up with sickday-related stuff (chicken soup, juice, ginger ale, etc.), and generally take care of her, but I think Amanda would feel really guilty if I ended up really sick next week as a result.


Finally, there's a bit of a financial reason.  I was in Grande Prairie last weekend, and will be out there for the next two (the first one is close to Amanda's birthday, and the second is just after the Elton John concert Amanda bought us tickets to as my Valentine's Day gift).  I love Amanda, and I want to see her, but driving out to Grande Prairie four weeks in a row isn't incredibly kind to my bank account balance...


So I'll miss Amanda this weekend, but her staying in Grande Prairie is probably the right decision.

...a few weeks back I had an idea for a sick day kit for her.  Now I *really* wish I'd finished it and given it to her.  :-(