As Days Go By...

May 20th.

That's the only date I can think about right now.  I know due dates, especially for first babies, are sometimes little more than a shot in the dark.  But that date is the one that will not leave my brain.

It's just over three weeks away.  Just over three weeks until I'm a dad and have a little person counting on me to keep him/her safe, warm, and fed (though indirectly for the first few months).

That is still an absolutely crazy thought.  Seven years ago, I was still living at home.  Four years ago, I hadn't even met Amanda yet.  And a year ago, in the wake of Amanda's surgery, we weren't really sure if we would ever be able to have children.

It's a lot to take in.  It doesn't help that we're not physically prepared yet.  Car seat?  Nope.  Bassinette?  Nope.  Stroller?  Nope.  If it wasn't for my mom making an *amazing* baby blanket and cloth diapers with changeable absorbant liners for us, Baby Fehr would be in real trouble.

Part of the difficulty has been our schooling.  I finished up for the semester on April 11th, just after Amanda started her first year of parts school.  An average day for me involved work, supper, school, and a scant few minutes with Amanda as it was -- even thinking about spending an afternoon looking at baby stuff seemed like too much time away from school work that I couldn't afford.

Amanda's not working while she's attending school, but there's an awful lot crammed into her six weeks.  Last week she had three tests, for example.  She gets off from school reasonably early, but usually has to spend the bulk of the night taking notes and working on homework.  As a result, it's been hard for us to find time to look at stuff.

Last weekend we did some looking, but quickly became overwhelmed.  We don't have a lot of room in our apartment, so were debating the size of bassinette we could handle, and whether it made more sense to get a smaller one-purpose bassinette, or a larger one that served as a playpen once the baby was too large for the bassinette portion.

At any rate, one way or another, we'll manage when Baby Fehr is born.  At the moment, it's just a little hard to see how.