Time, Life, and Love

For the past few months, Amanda and I have been watching Doctor Who. We started with the ninth doctor, and have continued on with the tenth. Tonight we watched the two parter episode that introduced River Song. We've been thoroughly spoiled regarding River due to Pinterest and other things, but the whole premise of her life and how she and the doctor meet at different orders in their lives really struck a chord with us.

We haven't seen enough to know for sure, but if they were living their lives in exact opposite directions (as some of the spoiler material has implied), River would have known that the doctor's first meeting with her would be the last time she ever saw him. When Amanda and I talked it out after the episodes were over, I tried to put it into terms of our life together.

Just imagine if Amanda was experiencing our life together in the opposite direction that I do -- not minute by minute, but day by day perhaps. Today, she would see the wedding ring on her finger and know that our wedding was coming up for her, and in the past for me. In just over three weeks, she'd never be able to call me her husband again. Even worse, even a single reference to how long we've been together would leave her knowing the horrible truth that she only had a fixed amount of time left with me.

Two and a half weeks "after" our wedding, she'd hear me tell her how amazing our two years together have been, and would know exactly how limited our time together would be. A little under a year "later", and she wouldn't be able to call me her fiancée anymore. Two months "after" that, never living with me again. Just over a year "later", and never seeing me again. And finally, on July 10, 2011, receiving an e-mail that started with "Hi there. This website..." And knowing that the two of us would never speak to or see each other ever again.

It's an incredibly sad idea. It makes me want to grab my wife, hug her fiercely, and thank God that we're living our lives in the same direction of time, blissfully ignorant of when one of us will be stolen from the other. So if you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to wrap this up so I can do exactly that.

Thoughts on Life, Love, and Amanda

When Amanda and I first started dating, I fell for her incredibly quickly but things felt like they were moving fast.  We went on our first date only a week and a half after I first e-mailed her, she made her first trip out to Tumbler Ridge two weeks after that, and before we knew it, we were spending as much time together as humanly possible.

It wasn't that hard at first.  The idea of having a girlfriend was still really new to me and seeing her on the weekend seemed about right.  I could live my normal life, and then go see Amanda on Saturday and Sunday.


Those thoughts changed sometime in late August or September.  I was in Grande Prairie for the weekend with Amanda, and planned on leaving Sunday afternoon after we went out for supper.  After supper though, we dawdled.  Amanda had sort of floated the idea of me staying until Monday morning, but I thought that we really wouldn't get that much time together, and that I'd be in the way when she was getting ready for work in the morning.


By the time we got back to her place from supper, I had changed my mind.  I asked her if she minded if I stayed.


That marked the turning point.  From then on, my life has been measured in hours to go until I see Amanda again.  As I write this, the countdown is at around 70 hours until I'll pull into her building's parking lot, text her to let her know I've arrived, and see her smiling face walking down the stairs to open the outside door.


Lately I've been feeling more and more like I live my *real* life on weekends when I'm with Amanda.  I've been thinking lately, and my life isn't so different from the miners who live in Tumbler Ridge and go home to their families elsewhere on their days off.  Both of us feel like we really belong somewhere else.


...and I belong with Amanda!